So this one is for the singles. If you are married feel free to keep reading, but understand this one ain’t for you!
It’s February! The month when all the lovebirds get to display their lack of singleness to the world while the rest of us slightly filter through emotions of disgust, envy and genuine admiration depending on the couple. But, I thought it might be a good time to write a journal entry on the topic of singleness. Why not go against the grain around Valentines?? Enjoy.
Why on earth would you CHOOSE to be single?
Ok, I just have to mention how much it amazes me that so many people will feel uncomfortable with a Christian’s decision to stay single for a bit. I have learned that it is very much an unpopular concept to choose to be single as a Christian woman in her mid (yikes!) 20’s. In the past, I have had many people with good intentions try and set me up on dates. And when I try to explain to them that I am completely content and even excited in this single season of my life or that I’ve been focused on learning who I am and growing with the Lord, they don’t like it… I think they’re either afraid I’m going to end up as an old lady with a house full of cats or they think that I’m this feminist who believes I’m a “strong, independent woman that don’t need no man.” Ha, no. Ok, side note: please believe that when the right man of God comes along, I will not be opposed!
But, awhile back I felt the Lord so clearly ask me to dedicate a season of my life to just Him and me! So I made the decision not to waiver in that even when others have an inability to understand it. So as for now, I remind myself that my relationship with the Lord is just that: mine. And if the Lord is keeping me (or you) from a relationship right now, or He is asking you to walk away from one, just trust that He is not keeping us from blessings, but He actually wants to bless us more abundantly. He knows that there are things that you will only be able to learn as a single and if you try to skip that season or hurry it along, you will rob yourself of certain blessings. Remember that He is so trustworthy in this. He will not withhold good gifts from His kids that trust Him enough to be obedient! If He is asking you to be patient in your journey with Him, know that He wants to blow your dreams out of the water.
I whole heartedly believe that this is what it comes down to. If you don’t trust that God has a plan for your future, why embrace singleness? If you don’t trust in His timing, why wait? If you don’t don’t trust Him to comfort you in your loneliness, why choose to be alone? If you don’t trust God to give you a good thing, why not go out and get it for yourself? The bottom line is, if you don’t fully know if you can trust God, then you haven’t taken the time to truly know Him. Because once you find out who He is, then you will know He is trustworthy, regardless of your feelings or fears. Our flesh will always fail us… we will have moments of doubt, fear, and weakness even as strong believers! But even in the midst of all this, it is still possible to KNOW that God is trustworthy. This is when our faith needs overpower our fears. Because if we don’t have faith in the Lord, or know who He is or trust that He is good, then our feelings and fears will always win. In the same way, when you know you are meant to dedicate a season of your to being single, but are unable to trust that God wants to bless you and help you through it, then your flesh will win.
We must renew our minds and embrace a single of singleness. It’s is the most beautiful opportunity to:
- allow God to heal your heart
- build a strong and loving relationship with the Lord
- learn to trust Him by reading of His character and experiencing for yourself
- put God on the throne of your heart (and remove any other idols)
- allow you to find security in Him (not a guy/girl)
- solidify your personal values so that you don’t compromise them in a relationship
- grow into the woman/man you’re meant to be (before you find who you are meant to be with)
- examine areas of your heart that God wants to purify
- invest in healthy friendships so that you can grow and mature (iron sharpens iron)
- accomplish things for the Kingdom that you can only do as a single
- learn to hear for the whisper of the Lord so when you finally do get into a relationship you can hear Him over someone else’s voice.
Singleness is not a weakness. And yet how often is it portrayed that way? Both by the media and even at church! How often have we seen the memes of what us singles will look like on Valentines Day? Or how about the facial expression of pity given once you tell someone yore single. From the outside, if a person is single it may seem like it’s because they are not wanted or desired enough. And how easy it is to start believe that for yourself if you are single! But, I am here to assure you that singleness is not a weakness. I often tell the girls I talk to that even if the most handsome, Christian guy walked into your life right now and wanted to date you, if God has called you to be single right now, its not worth it. God’s plan will always be the best one. And just because he is cute, Christian and interested, doesn’t mean God wants to bless it. We don’t need to settle when we believe in Him who has promised to take care of us. He will undoubtedly always bless obedience.
I hope you were inspired, encouraged & challenged by: choosing singleness.
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Love you guys.
Thank you for reading!!